Ten Tips for Maintaining Psychological Health Part 1

Some philosophers have argued that it is morally preferable to hold values that correspond with the values of others or, at the very least, to hold values that don’t impinge upon or impact the values of others. Subscribing to a value system that doesn’t impact the values of others is kind of like having a “different strokes for different folks” philosophy. Another definition of psychological health is perhaps more objective. This definition holds that psychological health centers on behaviors and mental processes that lead to the ability to adjust and function well in one’s life. This view can also be subjective to some degree. For example, I may adjust quite well to prison, but this adjustment may involve behaviors that could be considered quite unhealthy in other contexts. But, for most people and societies, the norms for good adjustment and functioning often involve surviving within the typically acceptable rules and boundaries most of us live in, and most of us don’t go to prison.

At the very least, psychological health involves being happy. I’ve never met a person who didn’t want to be happy, even if being happy to him meant being miserable. You can’t escape the desire to be happy. That reminds me of a joke: If a masochist prefers cold showers, does he take a warm shower instead?

Enough of the philosophical, let’s get down to practical suggestions. The following ten tips for maintaining psychological health are not in order of importance. Each of them is as important as the other.

Accept Yourself

A lot of popular psychology and self-help books tell us to “love ourselves.” It’s not a bad idea. Severe dislike for oneself is often associated with extreme guilt, shame, and depression. Believing in one’s abilities and valuing one’s uniqueness is not to be underestimated.

Too often, we lead inauthentic lives that are defined by others as we strive for their acceptance. Self-acceptance is a crucial ingredient for motivation and positive emotion, and accepting ourselves even helps us accept others more easily.

Struggle to Overcome; Learn to Let Go

It’s an undeniable fact of life that all of us will face challenges and adversity. Being able to effectively cope with these challenges is crucial to maintaining psychological and even physical well-being. Each of us has a variety of skills and techniques that we use to cope with stress and adversity. The best general advice for coping with adversity: Cope actively within situations that you have some measure of control over, and cope passively within situations that you don’t have control over. Active coping involves taking actions to improve a situation such as looking for a job when you’re fired instead of just saying, “Oh well, I guess I just wasn’t meant to have a job.”

We have very little control over the death of a loved one. Sometimes we can run ourselves ragged trying to shake our feelings of loss and sadness. But eventually, we have to accept the reality of the situation. Accepting reality when we can not change it is a good example of passive coping. Forgiveness is another good one. In situations that we can control, such as many health- related problems, taking action consistently leads to better outcomes and better psychological functioning.

Stay Connected and Nurture Relationships

Sometimes it seems like our modern lives are lonely lives. Everyone speeds around in their cars, isolated from other people and busy with the details of their own lives. I’ve often felt like I have to sacrifice productivity at work in order to socialize. I hear people make similar comments all the time, “I just don’t have time for friends and family.” Here’s a tip — make time!

In these times of mega-cities and super-suburbs, it can be hard to stay close to friends and family. The age of the small town is all but gone. Small towns are out there, but most of us don’t live in them. Despite these conditions, we can all benefit from working to maintain closer proximity to people who matter to us. The huge growth in cell-phone and Internet use may reflect both our desire to stay connected and our attempt to do so in such a fragmented and fast-paced world.

Having friends and family around is nice, but it’s only a good thing if the relationships are good. Some of us can’t wait to get as far away from these people as possible. Feeling emotionally connected and supported is just as important, if not more important, than simple proximity. We need intimate relationships that we can count on when times are hard. We need trustworthy romantic partners who value the same things that we value and value them as much as we do.

Some other helpful hints for maintaining good relationships: Practice forgiveness, be tolerant, communicate honestly, express yourself, balance independence with dependence, and act responsibly toward and nurture the values, desires, and feelings, and wishes of others.

Strive for Freedom and Self Determination

When we feel like the captain of our own ship, we’re more interested in life, more excited about life, and more confident. Our motivations are a complex mix of the things we truly want for ourselves and things that we’ve adopted from significant others over the years.

Feeling as if we have some control over the decisions that affect us is crucial to psychological health. When we’re in controlling, punitive, or dominating environments, our sense of importance and freedom is lost. Sometimes we have to adapt to the desires and values of others. When we have to adapt, we can still retain our sense of self-determination if we agree even slightly with what we are adapting to. What if I want to paint my house bright purple, but the city won’t let me? Well, if they agree to lavender, I’m more likely to feel less pushed around. It’s rarely (if ever) a good thing if we feel like we’re being told what to do and we don’t agree with the directive.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)
Ten Tips for Maintaining Psychological Health Part 1

• Going Beyond Stress: The Psychology of Health
• Getting Comfy on the Couch
• Taking Down the History
• Growing Up with Psychology Part 1
• Checking Under the Hood
• Social learning theory and behavior therapy
• Ten Tips for Maintaining Psychological Health Part 2
• Personality Testing
• Profiting
• Intervening Your Unhealthy Lifestyle